If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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