How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
