college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just found puke in my bra..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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