I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize