I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
