I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
