he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
