He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
