I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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