Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
