i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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