My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize