I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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