If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
