Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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