exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
