I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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