Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
