I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
soo... how was my night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
