4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Randomize
