oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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