We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
