Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This is classic penis vs brain.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
