it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
