Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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