Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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