I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
