I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
