Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
