Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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