Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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