I'm gonna have a badass scar
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
