But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
