Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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