she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It was confusing and full of hummus
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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