I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
