the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize
