oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize