I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
