grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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