how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
