just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
