I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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