She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
