i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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