i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Kiss
Puke
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
