i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
