I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
