Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
