Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
