I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
