put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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