the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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