Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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