ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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