Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
