I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
