Im at strip club and am horny
her facebook's as public as her vagina
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
