if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize