Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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