miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
